I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
