she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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