it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
