ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
