I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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