My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
