Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
