Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
