not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
