i think my mom watched the whole time
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
