Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
