Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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