A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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