she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
