yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
