Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
