He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
