i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize