just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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