hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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