why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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