She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
