my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm getting married
To pizza
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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