a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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