doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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