let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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