Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
