He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They took my balls.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
