We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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