ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
