you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
