So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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