OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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