with your own penis?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
