Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
