it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
