I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
