Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry MissMarie317 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(310): View more from California

Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

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(845): View more from New York

Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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(408): View more from California

I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea

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(843): View more from South Carolina

You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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(305): View more from Florida

Also the fuck cup must be buried with me

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(312): View more from Illinois

he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it

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