And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
