Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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