Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
