Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
