And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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