i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
