dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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