Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
