After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
