I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize