I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
