Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
