Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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