Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
