Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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