So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
