Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
