she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
