then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
