so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
