i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
