Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
pop tarts are not kleenex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
