Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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