We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize