Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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